How to Avoid Being Hit On at the Gym

Are you tired off testosterone-fueled men always approaching you at the gym?  Are you tired of men constantly following you around, strategically choosing machines right behind yours, or staring at you every time you walk by when all you want is to get your workout and go home?  Following are some surefire tips to make sure you do not get hit on at the gym.


Step One:  Choosing your wardrobe
  It might be tempting to choose cute workout clothes, especially because there is such a great selection out there.  But if you want to avoid becoming eye candy to all those sweaty guys, look no further than your own wardrobe.  You know those old t-shirts that are covered in stains from cleaning, painting, gardening or whatever other activities you wouldn't wear nice clothes for?  Those sweat pants that are a few sizes too big, the ones that you would never wear out of the house because they make you look 3 sizes larger than you are but are oh-so comfortable?  Now is your chance to wear them in public.


Step Two: Making your entrance count
  I tend to go to the gym straight from work, so I'm often wearing non-gym clothes when I walk in.  I don't know why, but apparently there is something about a girl in jeans that makes every man stare at me when I walk by (it doesn't help that I have to walk by the free weights to get to the bathroom).  There are two ways to handle this.  You can pick and choose based on mood, or if your personality is more comfortable with one method then feel free to stay in your comfort zone.  The first option is to avoid eye contact at all costs.  This is more difficult than it sounds, because there are often men everywhere.  You can try to look down, but you also have to be aware of where you're going so you don't walk into one of them (which can often be misconstrued as flirting).  The second option is to stare them down.  You have to be very careful with this one, as intense eye contact is often perceived as a show of interest.  You might have practice in a mirror to get down the look - it's one part anger, one part indifference, one part coldness.  Like I said, this might take practice.


Step Three: Working out
  While working out, there are ways to make yourself very unapproachable.  First of all, don't worry about sweating, in fact, sweat as much as possible.  If over half of your shirt is dry, you're doing something wrong.  Wheezing, coughing and clearing your throat is definitely encouraged.  Don't be gross or rude to those around you, just do it enough that no one would want to be any closer to you than they have to.  When it comes to listening to music, do it as expressively as possible.  Lip syncing is encouraged, as well as the occasional air guitar (if you can do it without falling off your machine - you wouldn't want to be mistaken for a damsel in distress).


  Now if after all your efforts a man still approaches you...I got nothing.  




32 days to go.  Wait...what?

Life is Good

Fun Fact: I should be doing my taxes right now.  Instead I made granola and now I'm blogging :)


Last week finished out strong - I ran my 10 mile run in Buffalo, so it was kind of a run down memory lane.  I ran past my old high school, the mall, the nursing home I used to work at, and other stores and restaurants that gave me nostalgia.  When I ran past Ted's Hot Dogs, I craved loganberry so badly that I could taste it (for those of you who don't know what loganberry is, it is a drink made of basically pure sugar...it's fantastic...in small doses, unless you're 11 - then you can drink an entire 2-liter in one sitting).


This week has been kind of crazy.  I'm going to visit a friend this weekend, and didn't want to have to figure out routes and take time away from hanging out to run.  So...I decided to fit 7 days of marathon training into 4 days...and I did it!!  I ran 5 miles on Monday and Tuesday, 10 miles on Wednesday (I switched my 18 mile run to next weekend because I do not have time to run 18 miles in the middle of the week), and ran 6 miles tonight.  Surprisingly, I feel really good.  A big part of that, I'm sure, is that work was really calm this week.  And tomorrow we're going to Chuck E. Cheese, so I will definitely get in my cross training :)


Alright...on to responsible things (does reading other peoples' blogs count as responsible?)


37 days to go.  I gotta start posting more.  These days seem to be dropping waaaay too fast.

This is what happens when my mp3 player runs out of batteries...

At the beginning of mile 16 today, my body and I started to have a conversation.


My body:  You're mean.


Me:  What?


My body:  You're mean.  16 miles, really?  When is that ever a good idea?


Me:  I...


My body:  Especially with our body type.  Our short legs, they're not made for this.  Long legged people, sure, they take 3 steps and they've already covered at least 10 miles.  But not us.  Is that it, are you trying to punish me for not being long and lean?  I thought we've come to terms with this.  Yes, it's annoying that short jeans are a little too short for us and regular length jeans drag on the floor, but remember, we can wear heels and still be shorter than most men.


Me:  True...


My body:  So what is it?  What have I done to warrant such punishment?  I've held my tongue for a long time now.  First, you start running more often.  That was great, when we were running 3 or 4 miles at a time.  Then you start throwing in these 10, 12, 14 mile runs.  Maybe it's just a phase, I told myself.  So I sent you signals, just to be safe.  Exhaustion, tired knees, sore back, more exhaustion.  I figured you'd catch on, realize that I wasn't super excited about your decisions.  Even when we were at work, I held my tongue.  But seriously, 90 lb. children should NOT get piggy back rides!  Then, you decide to give a child a piggy back ride UP THE STAIRS??!?!?  But even that I could handle.  It's for the children, it's for a good cause.  I get it.  But this...16 miles...this doesn't make sense.


Me:  I...


My body:  I...I...what?  I...love to cause us pain?  I...enjoy running distances that would make a whole lot more sense to be traveled in a car?  I...am doing this because I enjoy it?  I know that's not true, I am part of you.  You think it's just as ridiculous as I do.  But I get it...you made a commitment.  You're this far in, can't give up now.  We can be stubborn like that.  But seriously, next time you decide to get out of your comfort zone or try something new and difficult, it's the brain's turn.  After this marathon, I'm taking a vacation.






49 days to go.

Recap

Since it's been a while since I've posted, here's a quick recap:


     Week 7: Another "oops" week.  I can't remember at this point, but I think I only ran 4.5 miles all week.  My excuse - it was the week of my birthday so it didn't count :)
     Week 8: I got back on the wagon, just in time for a 14 mile run.  This time I didn't make the mistake of eating Indian food before my run, and it went a lot better than I expected it to.  Although it has just started to hit me that I will actually be running 26.2 miles.  At what point does that sound like a good idea?  I'm guessing never.  Best part: the African American man who told me "Don't lose too much, now, don't lose too much."
     Week 9: I met my running goals, had an easy weekend run of 8 miles (love the cut-back weeks) and felt like I was running my short runs faster than I had been before.  Also, the weather was fantastic.  When I was running in the park, I saw parents playing football and baseball with their children, people out with their dogs, children playing on the playground, people feeding the ducks, and -my personal favorite- a grown man being dragged down the street by 2 leaping, smiling great danes.
     
     And that brings us to this week.  So far, not so hot.  I ran on Monday.  On Tuesday, I was exhausted from work, so I opted to nap instead of run.  On Wednesday, I realized that I had to make a choice between running and grocery shopping.  Since I had eaten the same soup for 4 days straight I decided to go to the grocery store (and it was the last day mangoes were on sale!).  So tonight I was busy until around 9:00, but I knew I needed to run if I'm going to get my runs in this week (and this weekend's run is 16 miles so I don't want to get too lazy).  And that is why I am awake at 10:46, blogging instead of sleeping.  My body is like a hyperactive child, yelling "this is fun, let's run around some more!  Sleep is for losers!" while my mind is saying "go to sleeeeeeeep.  We have to work in the morning."


So now I will go and attempt to listen to my mind.  Or just lay in my bed while my body and mind duke it out for a while.


51 days to go.  No way.  That's not possible.

Oops

So...I messed up a bit this week.  


Here's the deal.  I was sick all week, and since I work with children and have this weird thing where I hate taking sick days unless I absolutely have to, I spent all of my free time taking cold medicine and sleeping.  Marathon training became temporarily nonexistent.  The good news is that by the end of the week I felt much better (thanks for asking), and ready to pick up where I left off...which brings us to tonight.


I planned on running my 12 mile run yesterday, but was quickly talked out of it when I got a better offer.  I then briefly considered running this morning before church, but it was far too early.  So I made plans to run with friends after church...well, after church and after (dun dun dun) the Indian Buffet.  Oops.  Though the run took place a full 5 hours after our feast, the food was not to be forgotten.  The good part was that I ran with two awesome people (yay Rachel and Mike) and the conversation throughout the run made me forget that I was in the midst of running 12 miles.  The bad part was the haunting presence of the Indian Buffet.  Oh yeah, and the fact that my body now hates me for doing zero physical activity all week and then running 12 miles.


From now on, we will be going out to eat after our runs.  Life lesson learned.


76 days to go.

5 Weeks Down

I ran 10 miles yesterday!


That brings this week's grand total up to 24 miles.  In an entire week, I have still not quite reached the distance that I will be running in a day.  It's a bit intimidating, but there is still a lot of time to work up to 26.2 miles.  Another thing that's intimidating?  I will be running for longer than it takes me to drive from Pittsburgh to Buffalo. Yep.


83 days to go.

Valentines' Day

I went to the gym today, assuming that everyone else would be out with their lovers celebrating Valentines' Day. There are apparently a lot more singles at my gym than I thought because the gym was PACKED.  I creepily hovered by the treadmills for a few minutes, trying to see who had the least amount of time left but then decided that I didn't have enough time and did some cross training instead.  I don't know if it was because today was Valentines' Day (or as some call it, Singles Awareness Day), but I got stared at excessively at the gym today.  It probably had something to do with the fact that I was trying to be super hard core on the elliptical, since I couldn't get on a treadmill or maybe it was because I've decided I work out harder when I make really intense faces at the wall.  Either way, there was excessive staring and all I wanted to do was say to the men "can't you see I'm disgusting?  I am dripping with sweat, bright red, and panting.  This is not cute.  Go away."  Instead, I continued to stare at the wall while making intense faces and pretending they weren't there.  Happy Valentines' Day.


89 days to go.