Conquering Fears

Last week: 19 miles...success :)


I've reached my goals so far this week too, and I'm in the process of conquering one of my big fears: treadmills.  Most people I talk to dislike treadmills because the run is boring.  Running for any length of time staring at the same spot on the wall can understandably make anyone crazy.  Personally, I think treadmills are terrifying.  I trace it back to childhood, when my friend won a treadmill from a cereal box (lucky!) and I decided to try to run on the treadmill as fast as it could go.  I quickly wiped out, skinned my knees and (this is no surprise for those who knew me as a child) cried.  I have had an irrationally strong fear of them ever since.


Yesterday it was cold and dark and I had to run 4 miles so I decided it was time to face my fear.  Not gonna lie, it was one of the worst 4 miles of my life, but I finished it and kept my pace.  I definitely wasn't bored because as soon as I was in a groove I remembered that I was on a treadmill and fear crept in.  I'm sure I looked awesome, as I was fighting hyperventilation and continuously knocked my mp3 player on the ground and had to fumble to get it back (fortunately it was still attached to my headphones, which was great except for the time when I managed to get the cords tangled in cords on the treadmill).  Also, when a woman got on the elliptical beside me, my only thought was "I wonder if she can sense my fear."  Paranoia is apparently a side effect of treadmills :)  But I did it.


I ran 5 miles on a treadmill today and it was already so much better.  The only moment to note was that I tried to walk away with the 'emergency stop' clip still attached to my shirt.  After I freed myself from the machine, a beautiful man runner and I locked eyes and he smiled.  So he either thought I was beautiful or just saw me get literally jerked back when I attempted to walk away from the treadmill.  I'm going with the latter.




108 days to go.